This Love of Mine
by oly.raff
Summary: All choices has consequences, Will always has a big talent to make the wrong choices, what takes him to a social exile, he wants what he loses back but who say it would be easy, startint with an unexpected visit that can completely change his life and plans, it's better to try to erase what has written or to rip the paper and write a brand new story ? It's his choice, again !


"Will" the teacher calls.

"Here", I answer, raising my hand and she proceeds with the call. Countdown to get out of this purgatory journal called school.

Who knows I can't find Josh, I can't believe that after all this time I saw him again. While I'm lost in my thoughts something brings me back to reality.

"Will !" – Jake calls me, shaking my arm "come on man, the Bell just rang".

I get up, pick my backpack up and go. The heat surprised me, as I haven't got used to it, come to school early in the jacket, entered the room with air-conditioning and forget that out here already heated up, I don't know.

Go down the ramp which provides access to the second floor, where I study. Depth stop on some girls who are talking about boys, hair cuts and other things futile and stupid, typical of high school girls.

"Hey, guy, watch where you're going !" One of them claim. "Almost breaks me down".

"Shut up" I say and walk out in front.

I get to the gate, which is near the parking lot. Some boys are standing there. I know them. Alex, Rafa and Matheus. I studied with these idiots from the Elementary School, in recent years has been so in gang fighting with the new students in high school. They grew up a lot in the last year, I also grew up but it seems they were also stronger, and I'm not what you might call a well developed physically.

"Hey, wait there" Matheus says, walking in front of me while I step, I stop. " What are you doing ? ".

"Going home". – I mean, taking a step forward, I don't show fear, I do not fear. "Could you excuse me?" I mean, as an order.

"What if I can't? What are you going to do?" He speaks.

"Hey, Hey, hey. Let's keep our cool, folks." Jake goes in front. "It's not worth it, you will only get a week's suspension, you don't want that, right ?" He said, looking alternately from me to the Man.

"Okay, I just want to leave." I mean, turn on both and go. Enter the bus, sit in a seat at the bottom and I remember this morning.

Someone knocks on the door, I open my eyes slowly.

"Will, wake up. You won't miss the time for school again." My mother speaks, just outside the door.

Levanto, I feel like I've been run over by a truck. My body hurts. Leave my room towards the bathroom, my mother is in the kitchen.

"All right, son?" She asks, suspicious of my face more wrinkled than usual. " You look bloated."

" Yes, it must be because I slept a lot" I Lie, obviously it's plastered on my face the marks of crying the whole night before, but I don't want to worry her. I've caused a lot of problems and I'm tired of taking moral lesson by the way I am, it seems that in society today if you have money, food on the table and a comfortable bed waiting for you each night to sleep, you must be happy, no matter what problems you may have.

"Ok, go take a shower. The coffee is ready, I'm going to work, can I get you anything?" She says, It's always that way, I lie, she pretends to believe, and we move on.

"No" Give a goodbye kiss on her face and she leaves.

Enter the bathroom, look in the mirror and see what she saw. _You look terrible_, I think.

I'm starting to undress me, go under the shower, an incredible feeling, hot water coursing through my body, relaxing. I feel as if nothing in this world matters, as if everything could be solved with a good hot shower, but they can't. While I shower I think about how my life can get to that point, alone, no friends, no one who really cares. How could I get out of that popular kid from 6th grade, class leader, friend of all, loved by friends and teachers, and become it, a first-year exile, all in a span of only 2 years ?

I remember very well. That day, those friends, those misconceptions, planted in my mind, polluting me from the inside out, becoming what I hate the most, how could I leave? I hate myself because of it and I hate even more those who did it.

I get out of the water, take the dry towel , I'm in front of the mirror. _Come on, Will._ _You've done this, do it again, for yourself, for no one else._ I take the razor blade, look at the blade, a bright and dangerous object, soft and sharp, perfect contrast. Take a jar in the closet, put a little gel on hand, and make sauce foam.

Start shaving, _will be a new beginning, a fresh start._ _Pretend that these recent years meant nothing, and they didn't mean._ That's a small price to pay for freedom, live in intense school world, to achieve the idleness of adulthood, what I need the most is idle in my life.

Normally, people's life is full of surprises, good times, bad times, but that is what drives the life, the surprises of every day, but when your life starts to be stuffed with unpleasant surprises and you only get bad news, surprises start to seem overrated, you rejected them because the expectation of something potentially damaging not attracts when your life already sucks.

I get dressed, go to the kitchen. Make a quick sandwich with coffee, I'm eating while I'm getting my stuff, backpack, school card, phone. I put my shoes, a Nike, red and white, my coat and raise the hood. Ready to start over.

Go down two flights of stairs, open the gate. I'm about 10 yards away and get to the bus stop.

Notice the houses, this place has been my home ever since, much has changed, the houses have grown vertically, won stories. The air is cold, gray day. Perfect. It won't be long, when the Sun arrived in mid-morning already will have warmed up and taken all this beauty though. Adults following their routines, taking their kids to school, going to work.

Look at the other side of the street, a boy wearing the same shirt that mine, standing on the point that going to the other direction, I don't recognize him here, must be new. Wearing a black jeans, tennis all-star gray, the hair I can't see because he's wearing a white and green cap.

Your bus is coming near, when he thrust his arm, motioning, look in my direction. And paralyzes.

Makes an expression that looks like a mixture of surprise, recognition and fright.

I look at my clothes to see if there's something wrong with me. It doesn't.

He looks at the bus that is close and slowing down, stopping, and signal for him to follow.

The driver back to accelerate and follows its course.

He crosses, is coming towards me and I realize, he is really hot.

"Will?" He says, to my surprise. He knows my name, I look at him. His dark eyes, brown hair and unkempt, his delicate face, so different features, I know him from somewhere. Definitely know. But where?

"Ham, Hi" I say, still confused by this situation. I force my mind, I know him.

"Will, it's me… Josh" he says, and an explosion of understanding comes to me, _JOSH, how do I forgot about him, Josh ._ He was my best friend when I was a kid.

"John, I can't believe" I speak, stunned. "What happened to you? You're… beautiful" I laugh.

He smiles. "Yes, and you… grew up." He says and I start laughing, because I was very softly in childhood.

"Yes" I say and he laughs. "But what are you doing here? Not passing right, I guess, since you're going to school."

"I'm back now to stay." He speaks "at least, until something doesn't go wrong , my Mom thinks that I had to "spend some time" with my father. We will see what comes out of it." He speaks.

"But your dad is pretty cool, why would you have any problem with him ?" I speak and see an expression that I can't quite recognize on his face, concern, maybe.

"Nothing that mathers" he says, changing expression fastly. "I have to go, I'm going to be late." And he crosses, giving signal to the bus that was already close.

"Ok" I mean, while I watch him waving at me and getting on the bus.

I said that had to change.

Get out of my stupor, I got off the bus and come home. Enter, my mother still hasn't arrived. I go to my room, take the shirt off and go to the computer.

"Will" My grands' calls me, I leave the room and go towards the door, open it, my grandmother is on the outside. – Visit for you. – I look behind her and he's standing there, looking at me.


End file.
